Shattered
by Xxlilmisstrouble
Summary: *Blackwater*leah is coming over the terms that she been raped by the unknown she's scared,frightend and traumatised.Find out how Jacob will help Leah on the road to recovery ! M rated for future chapters."first two chaps have been re-done"
1. Not Me

**Not Me**

I lay on my bed. Feeling sick, disgusted, and dirty, I was repulsed by my own skin, where his hands met mine. I was scratching over and over again, up and down my arms until my finger nails were covered in skin and blood. Hearing someone enter the house, I sat up, scared as hell and I could feel myself tremble. I looked under my bed and grabbed the baseball bat I had stolen from Seth's room, slowly I moved towards the door opening it quickly with the bat in hand, to my relief no one was outside my bedroom door.

"Who is it?" I whispered loud enough for my ears only. I moved closer to the stairs, took in a quick breath, and sprinted down the stairs holding the baseball bat in front of me ready to attack.

"Shit Leah you scared me" it was Seth and Jacob. I relaxed letting go of the bat, Seth looked at me, holding his hand against his chest he moved towards the sofa. He paused for a moment and looked back at me noticing the look on my face.

"Leah you ok?" Jacob looked back at me too.

"Leah..." Seth moved closer towards me and I took a step back. That's when he noticed the bat laying at my feet.

"Leah what happened?"

"You're bleeding" how was I going to tell them when I couldn't't bring myself to even think about it? Jacob came closer; my eyes were downcast, and worried he pulled my chin up so that I would face him.

"Leah what's going on?" Jacob's said his voice quietly; I pulled away and stood to the side. I looked at the both, holding onto my dress that was now falling apart.

"I-I" What the hell was happening to my legs? They felt like jelly

Darkness.

******

"Leah- Leah you ok? Leah?" My eyes flickered open to find Rosalie standing over me.

"She's awake" Rosalie said stiffly over her shoulder.

"How are you feeling?" I'm in the Cullen's mansion? Sitting up slowly, my eyes adjusted to the light.

"I'm fine." Well that was a lie; I wouldn't't be in a hospital bed with a tube stuck in my hand if I were fine.

"You fainted last night" Esme said placing her hand softly on my forehead "Are you hungry? You were unconscious all night and for the most of today" I wasn't in the mood to eat. Who would be after the events of yesterday.

"No I'm not hungry but thanks" She placed the plate of food right beside me with a knowing look.

"Alright, just in case you feel hungry it's here" She gestured to the table, and then sat down on the edge of the bed. All the other Cullen's joined her in the room

"Leah what's wrong?" Jacob asked softly standing next to the bed.

The events of last night came flooding into my mind and I instantly felt sick. Why me? Then Carsile spoke.

"You were unconscious for hours Leah, have there been any changes in your body lately, any illnesses?" Seth sat on the bed beside me with a concerned look painted all over his face.

"Leah what going on with you?" Keeping my eyes downcast I said.

"Please just let me talk to Jacob and Seth alone." They all left except for Rosalie.

"No one deserves that; you and I are just unlucky. It's weird though I never thought I would have something in common with a dog" she said.

"Leah, you need to tell us what's going on" Jacob said persistent almost demanding to know, ignoring Rosalie.

I nodded slowly feeling pathetic. I never saw this coming; things like this didn't happen to me.

"Leah you're scaring the hell out of us, just tell us we can help you" He looked at Seth then back to me. No you can't! That's what I wanted to scream. Instead I just went with the direct approach, hey who cares anyway I'm just the bitter harpy right?

"I was raped, satisfied?"

The room went silent only our breathing could be heard.

* * *

Chap one re-done by Cheris15


	2. Sympathy

**Sympathy **

I wiped the tears that were silently forming in my eyes.

"Look you guys I feel better, you know- I just want to go home so I can sleep in my own bed and take a shower ….I swear I feel great!" I looked back at them and planted a fake smile on my face, but I knew I wasn't kidding anybody. Finally meeting their eyes I saw the emotion I absolutely detested ,sympathy.

"Didn't't you hear me, I said take me home!"

"Leah let Carlisle look at you first" Jacob said, his voice leaving no room for argument. I couldn't't believe he was saying this!

"Get looked at?" He nodded and this time Seth spoke.

"Jacob is right" he said trying to calm down.

"..I'll go get you some clothes" with that Seth walked out, leaving me and Jacob alone. I looked back at Jacob he was gritting his teeth and his body was shaking with anger.

"Look Leah you have to get checked out…" he looked away "He could of done some serious damage and I can smell him all over you."

I was silent thinking it through. I don't think I'll answer that. Knowing I wouldn't't answer him he kept going.

"Did he…y'know…use contraception?" Jacob asked trying to get the questions the needed to be asked out. Laughing bitterly I said.

"You seriously think He would be in the fucking right mind to wear a condom?!" I laughed a little more and tears formed in my eyes again.

"you crack me up; you seriously do, of cause he didn't." I caught Jacob's face for a second and I could recognize a emotion I knew to well, hurt, but why will Jake be hurting….

At that moment Seth walked in with a bunch of clothing in his arms.

"Get out so I can change" I whispered not wanting them to hear the unsteadiness of my voice. When he left the room it seemed to be closing me in and I could see myself back at the forest on the floor with my hair messed up and my dress pushed up my thighs. Tears streaking down my face,_ if you tell a living soul I'll kill you. _He traced my cheek with his hand. Looking left and right a chill went down my spine. What if he was watching right now? I pushed the door open finding Seth outside the door without Jacob.

"Seth" I breathed, frightened

"Please come inside and just- please I need you in here" He didn't't even let me finish the sentence; he just closed the door behind him and faced the wall.

"When did it happen?" Seth whispered so quietly it was barley a whisper. I pulled the jeans on that belonged to Rosalie and zipped them up. Pulling the shirt over my head I paused for a minute.

"Yesterday- after the party" I heard Seth catch his breath and turn around slowly making sure I was fully dressed and tightened his jaw. I could see the rage on his face.

"Yesterday…." He repeated.

"I should of come home with you…I…. I knew I should of but La Push….. and you can phase, Oh God you would never think La Push"

I felt bad my brother was regretting something that had nothing to do with him.

"I shouldn't't have been such a bitch all through the party, It was my fault not yours."

"No it isn't and I don't ever want to hear you say that again!" he said shaking so hard I thought he would phase right in the room.

I need to go. As I walked out of the room Seth followed me downstairs where the Cullen's were sitting.I took the final step towards them taking in a deep breath. I could see Jacob pacing around the room. Edward was eyeing him, ready to grab him if he tried to find the person who did this to me. More violence wouldn't't help.I felt Seth's arms snake around me, trying to comfort me.

"Leah I'm so sorry" it was Alice. I eyed everyone in the room not a signal person didn't show sympathy. Even Renesme was staring at me.

"Thanks for your help but I have to go." Standing here looking and feeling vulnerable wasn't going to work, not for me. I have worked too hard since Sam, too hard.

"Leah you need to let me take a look at you, I understand that will be a little uncomfortable but I can't let you leave like this" Carlisle said.

"Carlisle I just want to go please" I said now pleading. I just wanted to run and hide in a deep hole for ever, I was Leah Clearwater shit like this don't happen to people like me.

"Leah, please"

I looked back at Jacob and Seth there was no way of getting out of this. He led me back into the room that had the hospital bed and told me to take my clothes off and put the hospital dress on, saying he would be back in a minute. When the dress was on I lay down on the bed and took a deep walked in with gloves and a grim face. He adjusted the bed so that the top half of my body was a little lower than the bottom but I was sitting up.

"I need you to bend your knees and stretch them as far as they can go." I did so but not without hesitation noticing this he told me everything would be fine, he wouldn't't hurt me.

He said he would tell me what he was doing step by step. Taking two popsicle sticks he spread me apart. Everything seemed to pause when he saw the damage.

"Leah a human didn't't do this to you. What was it?"

* * *

ohh Cliffhanger......

*Blackwater* coming soon


	3. Tocar

**I'm so so so so so so sorry for the massive delay it was undoubtedly EVIL. I promise to never ever make it that long again, Once again sorry but i'm going to shut up now and let you guys read the new chap.**

**_PS. if your wondering what TOCAR means it's spanish for touching._**

* * *

Tocar

It's the following day and I've been locked up in my room all day, glued to the corner of my room just watching the sheets of my bed flow up and down as the wind blows pass it. My eyes feel weird like they don't belong to me, they feel out of place. I haven't had a decent night's sleep. Since I came back home last night all I done is sit in the corner of my room. Carsile had told me to come back in a few days and he'd have the test ready for me. His question still lingers in my head "Leah a human didn't do this to you. What was it?", I hadn't been able to answer him, I had just stared at him waiting for him to be done with me and just run out the door, where I wouldn't be questioned.

The ride back in Jacob's rabbit was quiet, they hadn't said anything Jacob just kept his eyes on the road and Seth was starring out the window, My mind was far out, my eyes had been glued on the window but my mind wasn't in that car it was back on the cold forest floor, by dress shoved up my thigh….

As soon as Jacob had stopped driving I ran inside the house past my Mum and into the shower.I didn't feel good after the shower but I had felt better, that quickly vanished, as soon as I walked into my room, lights turned off and I was laying down on the bed everything came back to me. His delicate hand tracing every single part of my body, my face, arms, legs. And his low whispers, his venomous words…..

I heard a low tap on my door and I stood straight up. Straightening the over sized t-shirt I wore to bed, I pretend I'm organizing the books on my shelf as an excuse to be turned around so they wouldn't see the my blood shot eyes.

"Leah, you've been locked up all day…we were thinking if you might want to watch TV with us or something…" I was shocked to hear Jacob's voice instead of Seth's. I stopped fixing the books and dropped my hands and looked back at him.

"What are you still doing here?" My voice came out croaky and weird like it didn't belong to me despite this you could still hear the harshness in my voice. Jacobs eyes were wide , I must look pretty horrendous, I had been locked in her for over a day. I glared back at him wide eyed like he was staring at me.

"What?" I spat.

I walk over to my bed and threw myself on it, I could feel Jacob's eyes on my back as I did this. I closed my eyes for a second and re opened them still finding Jacob standing in my room, with his hand on his Jaw. I watched him move his finger back and forth along his chin. I sat up half way, placing all my weight on my elbows.

"Look, Jake…"I sighed "..if you have nothing better to say than _'watch TV with us' _I mimicked his deep voice "..Then get out" I pointed to the door, wishing he'd get the message and leave. But he did the complete opposite and pulled a chair out from my desk and sat down. I rolled my eyes at his stupidity.

"Are you dumb?" I questioned. "Or are you delirious, didn't't you hear a word I said?" He sighed loudly sigh and sunk himself deeper into the seat.

"No Leah, I heard every word you said." I looked at him confused.

"…yet you won't _go_?" My voice came out harsher than I expected.

Jacob stared at me with an almost knowing look, it made me feel uncomfortable.

He moved closer towards me and sat on the edge of my bed.

"Because youneed someone" He voice was soft. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Everyone needs someone at some point." I could tell every word he meant because he never looked away from my eyes as he said any of it. This coming from Jacob was weird I would expect Seth to say shit like this but _Jacob._

"Are you ok?" I asked. He looked at me confused and nodded.

"….no, seriously did you bump your head or something Jake." I laughed a pathetic laugh it sounded worn out. Like a laugh you'd hear from a grieving mother.

He sighed again.

"Leah stop acting like what happened to you was nothing…"He murmured low.

I blinked. Twice. I know exactly what's happened to me, I keep reliving it every other hour. He has no fucking right storming into my room telling me how to act, how else does he wants me to act? Like I'm a venerable defenseless girl who can't take care of herself. He wants me to act like one of those dumb girls that they show on TV, who look hurt and weak. Never. I'm not them right?

"What?" Jacob says

"Get out now. Get the fuck out." I point to the door. Jacob follows my finger. And gives a low sigh.

"Leah, please listen. Let me help you. I know your not feeling…great. I know that you're hiding"

I get of my bed not able to take this no more.

"No, you don't. know You have NO idea how _this _feels, Not a single Fucking! Clue, so don't act like you do."

My chest is heaving and I'm crying. I'm crying and I don't know why. I'm crying either because I'm angry or because what I'm feeling, I've felt before and hate, Because I'm hurt. The tears stroll down my face one by one. Jacob doesn't't realize I'm crying until my breathing comes out in hiccups. And he jumps of the Bed and instantly wraps his arms around me. I don't really notice that he's hugging me until he pulls me closer. I pull away.

"Don't touch me" I whisper. And just like the other night my finger trace up and down my arms. Rapidly. Leaving streaks of broken skin were my nails dug in. He walks after me.

"Lee I'm just trying to help." And he offers me his arms again but I only move back quicker. Backing up away from him backwards, keeping my eyes on him making sure he doesn't' magically appear behind me. Not paying attention to my path I trip over a shoe. I fall flat on my face. I look up my hair in front of my eyes, Jacob's leaning over me his hands reaching down to pull me up. I move out of his reach. Straightening up Jacob staring down at me concern written all over his face.

I get up moving towards the door and I'm getting slightly panicky my breathing picking up a pace. Just as he takes a step forward I take a step backwards. We do this again.

"Leah are you…scared of me?" he asks quietly a slight of disbelief to his voice.I'm not scared of _Jacob_ I'm just frightened of the fact that his a man and threw my eyes at this very moment **all** men are _him_. I shake my head lightly.

"No…" I say quietly " I just don't want you to touch me that's all" I try to hide the seriousness of this answer, not make it seem like me getting sexual assault is getting to me, because it's not. I'm just not comfortable at the moment with men touching me yet. He looks at me for a long second worried.

"Leah…I'm not going to hurt you" he reassures me and I just nod my head. I know Jacob won't hurt me. He wouldn't, would he?I wipe the tears that are falling down my cheek with the back of my hand. Jacob goes into his front pocket and pulls out tissue and offers it to me I move to him slowly. He hands me the tissue and our fingers brushed past each other for a second. I watch him as he places hands in to his front pockets of his Jeans. The veins of his arm pooping up as his body tensed up, the noise his teeth made when his they were grinding against each other. He held of one of my hands, his fingers tracing the thin line of scars. I pulled my hand back quickly and Jacob mumbled a "sorry". He looked away not meeting my eyes when he said.

"Leah, who did this to you?"


	4. Telling

Yh I've been away for a while…but I'm back now! :P Here's a chap for all the lovely readers out there.

* * *

**Telling**

My mind is racing.

I knew at one point throughout this whole ordeal I'll have to tell someone, because that's what you get once you tell the world such a thing has been done to you, that a stranger has put you in a terrible position, which not even a wolf can get out of. But does it have to be now? Do I have to explain at this very hour?

I want to tell him. I really do, then I can get rid this heavy burden. But when I tell him, what do I say? Do I give the name of the person who did this to me, do I describe him?

I don't know what man did this to me, but in a mysterious way I do. I recognize his body shape, the voice he held and most of all, the most intricate detail, I know for sure his not a man but a vampire. But even if I do tell Jacob, what would come from it. There are vampires all over, all over the world and maybe even beyond. It will be like looking for a needle in a hay stack, even if I do find the best vampire tracker. Besides, I doubt Jake will run around the world crossing rivers and seas for me. And even if he does, what will be done then, will they fight? Kill? It won't make a difference, because what's done is done and can't ever be undone. But like I said before, I doubt anyone would do such a thing for me. I've never been kind to anyone, there was a time when I was gentle, sweet and kind like Emily, but that side of me is gone. As the wolf came along, sweet Leah disappeared and another appeared.

No one would never want to help me because they have nothing to give back, through their eyes, I'm probably just a bitter harpy who got what was coming to her.

"Lee" I hear Jacob's voice snap me out of concentration, bringing me back to reality. I look at him and his face looks hopeful like he might actually get answer from me.

Well, sadly his not.

"Look Jacob, can't we just drop this. I don't want to talk about this…it's too soon" My voice dimmed to towards the end of the sentence. It wasn't too soon to talk about this. In my eyes, no matter what day it was going to be, the second day or twenty years after, it wasn't going to make a difference, I was always going to feel like this, like a pile of shit.

"Leah, you're going to have to talk about this sooner or later you might as well make it now, get it over" His eyebrows elevated, just another hopeful feature on his face. I sighed and closed my eyes for second then re-opened them slowly as if I might magically appear somewhere else and in someone else's body so I wasn't Leah no more, so I couldn't't live this horrible nightmare which wasn't a nightmare at all.

"Please Lee…" he begged "it'll make you feel better; well that's what people say once you get something of your chest…" He took hold of my hands "please…" I pulled my hands back.

"Don't" was all I said. I didn't't want him touching me; I didn't't want anyone touching me. He looked away for brief second before looking back to me.

"You will have to tell me eventually, you will have to tell _someone_ eventually…otherwise there's no point in telling us you were…"he paused not able to get the word out. "y'know" he said scratching the back of his neck

"Raped." I finished for him. I don't know why I was able to say it so freely when Jacob couldn't't.

"Yeah…" he said "that"

I walked over to my window and sat down on the small seating area and looked outside. The day was dark now, looked chilly and to be honest quite scary, at times like this I was glad I had a roof over my head. "What if I told you who did this to me, what would you do?" I felt him come over to stand behind me.

"I'll…hunt him down" his voice sounded dark. I turned around. Questioning his judgment I said "why? I've never been good to you, I'm a bitch you've said that yourself on several occasions, he hasn't hurt you. Besides I'm not worth revenging for." I spat slightly.

I watched his face turn from quite dark to slightly hurt.

"That was before these few months…were friends right, and by hurting you he's hurt all of us, and anyways I don't think I'll be able to sleep at night knowing his out there hunting girls down like foxes, treating them like…shit. I'm your alpha Leah; I should have been looking after you, not acting like an idiot with the guys. I should have walked you home if you was desperate to leave or convinced you stay for a little while. If I had acted better maybe this wouldn't of n…" I cut him off. I'm sick of the should of's, could of's and what if's. What's done is done; I just have to deal with it.

"Stop it, it's not your fault. I've been a bad person these couple of years, had it coming to me…" just like I cut Jacob off, Jacob cut me off.

"No you stop it" he said sharply.

"Stop talking rubbish. Stop acting like this shit is karma or something. These things… they shouldn't't happen to people not matter how you act. End of story."

It fell silent after that. The room fell completely silent. All you can hear is the muffled sounds of our heartbeats.

When it's quite your mind is free to think, and it brings up shit you don't want to hear or think. Noise is good. Noise muffles your mind babbles, and if the noise is at a curtain level, than your minds tends to shut up and concentrate on the noise around you, picking out all different types of instruments; which produce the noise. And when it gets to that point when your mind sends a message to your mouth telling it to say "I can't think!" and then the instruments seem to shut up and let your mind replay it's memories again. So, noise is good, noise is very good.

I get up from my windowsill and walk over to the music player my dad brought me a while back. I remember being obsessed about getting a music player for months, after being round Emily's, and then one evening my dad came home holding this huge box and on one of its face was a huge red bow with a pink tag attached, reading; to my love Leah, I hope this brings all the music to your ears as you bring music to mine. I was 15 then. I remember Seth complaining about how unfair it was that he didn't get a present, then my dad coming home a week later dragging a bike. I and Mum laughed about that for days because he only brought it to shut him up. And how all the neighbours complained about how much a "racket" I made. When my dad died I never played that music player again.

Until now.

I switched on the plug and grabbed a random Cd from my rack and placed it in the Cd slot. Turning the volume on to full blast, there came a huge intro to Alicia Keys 'Karma', a bit Ironic really. I didn't't care that it was touching ten at night. I didn't't care that my ears were begging me to turn it down. I just didn't't care.

"What are you doing!" I could just about here Jacob scream above the music. With his long strides he raced to the music system to turn the music down. Beginning at a banging hundred the music downed to a low three, barley a whisper.

"Why the hell did you do that?" Just after Jacob spoke my Mum blared into the room looking quite frightened followed by Seth who just looked oblivious.

"Leah?" My mum asked. Un-emotional I answered "I just felt like listening to music."I looked around the room. My mum face was mirroring Seth's, complete worry that I've might have gone completely crazy or maybe they're just confused. Which I doubt.

They all have that face I expected to see.

Pity.

Their all sorry for something they had nothing to do with. Their all sympathetic!. I've always have hated sympathy, even when I was a child, whenever I got a cut and my mum giving the 'oh! Sweet baby' blab I just simply rolled my eyes. I hate sympathy, pity. I hate life. I walked out of my bedroom without a word and entered the bathroom. Shutting the door shut, I slammed down the toilet seat so I could sit down. The seat was cold from the cold breeze seeping through the barley open window. It felt good on my super-heated skin cooling my thighs slightly. I could hear the slightly harsh whisper Seth threw at Jacob through the wall. "What did you say to her?" And the lifeless answer Jacob replied with "nothing, I said nothing."

I got up from the toilet seat and turned on the cold tap. The water was surprisingly warm to begin with than suddenly went cold. Ironically that sort of resembled me, at my peak and then suddenly slopping down the mountain. Splashing the cold water on my face to cool down my super-heated skin, I looked into the mirror. I looked like a mess, hair static, face bogged, blood shot eyes, and I had the works. But this just makes me think, what did he see in me? I'm just this girl that wasn't girly enough and unfortunately transformed into a big beast. Life isn't for me. I'm not worthy enough for life. I bet I was one of those angles in heaven who surprising got an 'scholarship' to earth, and got here by luck, for free. I wasn't originally meant for this.

And just as my mind wonders off thinking a knock is heard on the door. And I know my times up, and I have this crazy thought that maybe telling them would make things easier.

* * *

.... :P

Xxlilmisstrouble


	5. Alone

Alone

"Leah?"

I hear a harmonic sound call my name and I snap out of starring at the grand fire place smacked bang in the middle of a long patterned wall. I slowly turn my head to the miniature figure which held such an angelic voice.

"Carlisle is ready for you now." The little figure was Alice Cullen. She was speaking to Jacob rather than me although what she was saying applied to me. But to be honest she was right to talk to him rather to me, I'm not entirely focused at the moment, and my body reacting faster than my mind is. My heart seems to be working a hundred times stronger than normal and usual my heart rate_ is_ abnormal anyway, seeing as am immortal, but this is just ridiculous. What is it, I'm I scared or just anxious? There's nothing that could go wrong with a couple of test right?

I'm slightly overly concerned now and my eyes have shifted form the fire place to the white patio doors on the other side of the room. Trying to figure out how quickly I can get through the doors without being too stopped by Seth or Jake. But the look Jacob's giving me right now means he's already sussed out my plan and he's alert and ready if I try to do anything stupid, and just I had expected he uses his warning voice to verbally warn me.

"You ready Lee? The quicker you get in the quicker you can go home?" I look away from Jacob to the small figured girl I never liked so much or acknowledge and found a small encouraging smile, a feature I haven't seen much of and I sigh miserably. I stand up rather quickly and feel like I'm going to fall. I have no energy, I haven't eaten properly in a few days and my body is slowly shutting down. The room spins round me continuously and I end up falling back into the couch. A hurried crowd surrounds me. Although am barley a meter away from them their voice sound so distant, as if they're miles away from me.

"Leah?" Jake, I know it's Jake for sure he's voice is the one to sound most panicky.

"Leah?" he rings again.

"Lee? Leah? Talk to me, Leah? Oh my god she's dead, Lee?" but maybe I was wrong for Jake to be most panicked, of cause Seth, my flesh and blood will be overly panicked. Because if he lay here instead of me unmoving, eyes shut, barely breathing, I'll be going crazy, and he's certainly gone berserk.

"Lee? Oh Lee please wake up, you can't do this, not to me, not to Mum! Leah? Leah?" I try to pull myself up, to open my eyes or to say something, but am too drained; my sugar levels must be below average well as average as it can be.

"Woo, hey calm down. Give her some space." I hear some shuffling going on and suddenly something cold touches my wrist; the cold sucks the warmth from my wrist, almost as if it's pulling my blood along with it, it's painful, a pain I've felt before…

My eyes shoot open; I find myself standing, hands in front and in a matter of seconds a loud crash is heard, glass shattering. I find Jacob starring mouth open straight ahead at something; I follow his glaze over to what seems so to horrify him. The blond one, Rosalie Cullen, she's lays down on the floor surrounded by glass smashed into millions of tiny microscopic piece. I watch her pull herself up from the marble flooring, straighten out her clothing and swiftly, with one finger, pull the strand of hair away from her face. She glares at me, with the corner of her mouth twitching, human feature that she must have stuck with over her transformation. Her eyes squint into the thinnest line possible. I realize that my arms are still stretched in front of me, hands flattened, frozen. I pull them back to my sides and glance over to Seth whose brow is squashed so far down I think his face is in danger of being moved down towards his neck.

Did I push her? Did I push her into their _glass_ wall?

I had felt her finger tips above my pulse, she was just checking if I was just alive or not. Have I been that affected by him, I did this? Rosalie's face finally relaxes out of the squint and a chiming sound is heard throughout the room, and its' coming from her perfectly shaped mouth. She laughs and moves out the puddle of glass, her cream four inch heels causing the glass piece to shatter further, if possible. She stops laughing and the corner of her mouth turn up slightly. Behind her, most of her family silently gathers round, floating in, barley making a noise.

"Well, now I know to never touch wolf." She looks at me, only speaking to me. I don't say anything. I just look at her blankly, and blink very slowly.

"Let's get this mess cleared up shall we?" Esme says as if she's asking and quickly looks over to her husband, Carsile, he nods swiftly.

"Leah..." He steps over the puddle of shattered glass towards me.

"Miss Clearwater I think we will be better of upstairs?" he raised an eyebrow hopefully just like Jacob had yesterday. I sigh and nod slowly. I make sure I don't look anyone in the eye as I walk over to the stairway which no longer had a right side wall. I should say sorry, but sorry means a conversation and a conversation means staying her longer and all I want to do is know the results and walk out the front door. I place a foot on the first step and I'm stopped by someone warm handed this time.

"Seth?" I step back rather annoyed. He scratches his hair line.

"I figured you might need help y'know…" I roll my eyes.

"What, up the stairs?" I say sarcastically.

"Yeah seeing as what had happened, you need a little help"

I look a Seth and he looks so concerned it breaks my heart a little. But I don't need help; I'm not handicapped, delirious or physically unstable. I'm just a little run down lacking energy. But I can certainly go up a flight of stairs.

I think.

"Fine but don't go thinking I need you around constantly when I'm going up the stairs." He links his arm with me help me up the stairs. We reach the top of the stairs and I can vaguely remember the hallway from my last visit. The big expensive paintings and the beautiful flowers aligned in their perfect vases. Then I noticed something that wasn't here last time I was here. A small girl on the other side of the corridor, her head peaking around the door sneakily, as if she's doing something she wasn't permitted to. She smiles cutely and reveals herself fully wearing overalls and white and pink trainers. She looks adorable. She's grown seeing as she can walk; last time I was here she must have been a baby, because I barely noticed she existed. Bella hurriedly moves her back into the room and close the door. I feel someone tug on my arm.

"This way" It's Jacob and he pulls me towards the door Carsile walks through. We reach the door but he doesn't walk through.

"I'll wait for you out here, if you need any h…" I curse under my breath.

"Why does everyone suddenly think I need help, I can take care of myself I'm not dying!" I pull his hand away from the arm of my hoodie. And walk into Carlisle Study. One word, books. Books everywhere that's all you can say about this room. A stack of books, books on shelves, books in the corner of the room, small books, big books, wide, thin. It's like book heaven.

"You can sit down Miss Clearwater." He points towards a chair besides the window; I ignore his gesture and sit on the opposite side of his desk. My heart is beating really fast, my hands become clammy and sticky; I take in a deep breath to calm myself. Nothing is wrong with you, nothing at all. I repeat to myself. I sink deeper into the chair and sigh loudly, what's the point in worrying, what's done is done and there nothing anyone can do about, sadly.

He walks to the back wall where a cabinet is built into the wall and pulls a draw then on everything feels like its being done in slow motion. He lifts the paper clipped piece of paper slowly out of the draw, and then slowly pushes the draw back into cabinet. Step by step he makes his way back the desk but remains standing. 'Nothing can go wrong, nothing wrong can happen, just think positively and positive things shall come' words I heard so many time its can last me a life time.

"So…doc" I pull my hoodie of my head. "What is it? A deadly disease, that I can't die from or is it a mutant pregnancy...Which I don't think is possible but hey who would have thought two weeks ago I would be sitting here huh? Anything's possible, right?" I smile bitterly. Carsile doesn't see amused but sympathetic, and there's an awarkward silence but it soon ends. He takes a quick glance at the first sheet in the pack then the second.

"Well Miss Clearwater…" hears it comes. "Everything seems as good as it can be, nothing to out of the ordinary, but I do suggest you easy your way back into your eating habits, seeing as you're a shifter you need your food for energy otherwise your body will not work as subjected to, and this may lead to complications …" He fades away at the end and goes silent for a moment. He breathes in deeply and says

"Miss Clearwater I..."

"Leah." I correct the Miss-ing was getting to me slightly. He laughs shy fully and sits down on his desk.

"Leah. I'm sorry for the unpleasant in counter you experienced, for a doctor it is rather hard delivering results after a sexual abuse especially for someone whose given so much to them…but the hardest part is over now, you now know that you got away lucky, and you can slowly take steps to getting better…"

"Please don't tell me to blab who did this to me because I just wo…" He cuts me of looking rather offended.

"No Leah, I would never do such thing, some people go on with life by never saying who abused them, but they key thing is to have someone to help you take those step back to your safe place, family is important at a time like this. Just do not push people away, is all that I am saying." He sounds like he saying a eulogy in a funeral, rather disturbing, but when I look at him and all he shows is pure sympathy but for some reason I take it in gladly. He looks like he has more to say but he choose to keep it to him. I stand ready to walk out the door and bin the package of paper Carsile had handed to me earlier, but I turn back instead.

"Thanks." I say.

"Oh it was nothing at all." And he smiles showing all his perfect teeth.

"Sorry, about the glass wall." I whisper but he catches it anyway. He remains smiling.

"Do not worry, we've been meaning to get it replaced anyways just saved us the trouble, Nessie, urm Renesme is beginning to walk." He smile proudly and it almost makes me sick. I have nothing against the breed, it's just her Mother…but that story is for another day. I say thank you again and walk out the door. Out in the corridor in the opposite room to Carlisle's study, Rosalie walks out transformed. She's in a completely different outfit. I try not to acknowledged her and walk quickly to the stairs, but she calls my name.

"Leah?" I stop abruptly and curse under my breath. I turn around unwittingly. She looks at me almost suspiciously but relaxes her face. Her mouth is puffed slightly as if the words she wants to say are jumbled up inside her mouth but then she looks at me knowingly and I feel slightly uncomfortable.

"Whenever you need someone as in a girl to talk to I'm open" I look her blankly.

"Is this a catch?" I ask quite harshly.

"No catch I figured since all you have to talk is smelly wolf boys you may like some versatility."

I laugh coldly.

"What? As in a stinking, vamp girl? No thanks." She squint's her eyes for a half a second and places a piece of paper into my hand. The touch for her hand makes me squirm a little. I read her face and there's no emotion there but her eyes seem to hold something in them but I can't register the emotion. I look down at the piece of paper in my hand and find the need to stuff into her mouth and tell her to shove off, as I'm not in the mood for a bitch fight. But instead I stuff the piece of paper in my back pocket and walk away.

"Leah?" she calls again. I turn around annoyed.

"What?" She looks at me weirdly and begins to say something but then she stops.

"…I think you owe me an apology" She flicks her head back a little to move hair away from her face. I give her a glare and walk away. When I reach the big living room the shattered glass has disappeared and there's no one there apart from Jake and Seth who stand up so quickly like they got struck by lightning.

"How did it go?" Seth asks first.

"I just want to go home." Its good news but I don't want to say much. The drive home was quite no one said much or did much. When we got home Jacob didn't stay he had to go check on his dad and my mum was still at work so it was just me and Seth at home.

"You want something to eat?" Seth asks. I nod although I'm not hungry. Seth makes his famous all in one sandwich, that consists of everything or anything you can find in the fridge and cupboards but surprisingly it all ways tasted rather nice. We sat down on the kitchen table and ate are sandwiches in silence. I watched Seth eats most of his sandwich as I played around with mine slightly. He was so young and gone through so much, I'm surprised he still finds the strength to smile every day, he's always polite, kind and always up for a joke, the complete opposite of me.

"He said everything is fine" I tell him.

"What?" a string of lettuce hangs from his mouths. I smile.

"Carlisle, he gave me the all clean." Seth makes an 'o' shape with his mouth, and nods a lot.

"Well that's good" and we drift back in silence.

Yesterday night after my blast of music, I left the bathroom feeling rather different I don't know what did it but I just did . I opened the bathroom door to find just my mum just by the was the first time since that night that it was just me and her. She stood there staring at me going quite teary eye.

"My little baby girl, my _beautiful _baby girl" She placed both her hands on top off each other, above her heart. She moved towards me and placed a hand on my right cheek. It was rather sad that we never spent time on our own together. I'll either be running around wolf or she'll be busy round Charlie's. We sat on my bed and she tried so hard to make me forget. Reminding me of trips we took when I was a child or silly memories like the time I got lost out on a shopping spree with her. She even went all the way back to when I was a baby telling me how feisty I was then. She tried making me laugh, telling me sad funny stories. But to be honest I wasn't in the mood to forget I just wanted to talk to get things off my chest, but I don't think she wants to listen. That's why for half that night it was Jacob trying to get things out of me, that's why he was the annoyingly comforting me, she not ready. That's why she wasn't up in my room comforting me telling me everything was going to be ok. What a normal mother would do. That's why she's out at work right now keeping busy, avoiding me, and not wanting to know. Why I am blaming her? It's not her fault, but I can't help my self. All I want is to talk to a girl. To relate a little, Jacob is doing great sort of, but it's not right I can't tell him things that I could tell a girl.

Seth and I move to the living room and he offers to put on my favorite movie and get popcorn. It's not dark yet so we draw all the curtains up and turn off all the lights like when we were little and cuddle up on the sofa.

"Leah you're alright, right?" he asks sounding a little concerned. I could blab and say everything I'm feeling but my brother doesn't need to know this, he's not right for the job, it might just scar him for life. So I lie and say yes. Half ways through the movie I lie pathetically and say I'm feeling rather tired and jog up the stairs. I close the door behind me and the doorbell rings, Seth must have rushed to the door as it was open in seconds. I peek out of the window and see Embry, Quil and Jake. The house suddenly is filled with slight noise. I shut the door and pull off my jeans and pull on my pj's. Before chucking my jeans in the laundry basket I check the pockets, and find the small piece of paper Rosalie handed to me, it has a mesaage on it and her phone number. I place the piece of paper on my note board and walk backwards to my bed I fall flat on it, arms and legs spread out like a star fish. My bed seems like the only place which is safe anymore. All warm and cuddly so inviting and relaxing, I can feel my self-drifting.

'…your safe place again.' Carlisle words play through my mind like a record player. My safe place? Have I ever had a safe place? Well not since my dad passed away, things feel so odd without him. My mum has tried so hard to make this place a home again but I think she's failing rather miserably. I shouldn't blame her, because I haven't helped much either. I've never suggested lets have 'some family fun!' But I've been busy; being a wolf saving the Quileute people from vamps same goes for Seth. We've never even sat down with Charlie and had a meal, were failing as a family. My dad will be turning in his grave. I sit up and look at the picture besides my note board. Me sitting on my father lap smiling with my hair in bunches, I admit it I was daddy's little girl. I'll give anything to talk to him one last time. I look around my room and it's rather empty unlike downstairs, I can hear the stair creak so someone must be coming up the stairs. It's just me here alone, and for the first time in my life I feel so alone. I find myself starring at the piece of paper pined on my note board.

'Call me if you want more than a dog to talk to, No offence. Rosalie'

* * *

Ah finally, finally! another chap for you guys I know you've waited a long time for this, I'm deeply sorry but like I said it's the holidays so I'm free and that means more chaps

[Everybody screams 'yay!"]

Lool

Sorry for the grammar and spelling mistakes. As usual I got bored proof reading. If you know a great beta please PM me!

(No control freaks please :P)

Xxlilmisstrouble

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